What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and...

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

When you visit a store, do you go to shop or buy?

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Should transgender Ideology be renamed "Gender Revisionism/Biological Denialism"?

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

What happens when your partner doesn't see the value in you and continuously hurts you by searching for something in others knowing it hurts you?

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

What is the most interesting question you can ask to get to know someone?

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Its year 2041, and president Hunter Biden has ordered every republican who sweared at him to be arrested and shot. I am on my way to the death row listening to the cheer of the Liberal mob chanting death death death. How can I escape?

TEXT:

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

New model helps to figure out which distant planets may host life - Space

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

What is something brutally honest that needs to be said?

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

What if you were the only and last person left on Earth. How will you survive and what would you do with your life?

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Make Nazis afraid again!

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

How can parents identify and address early signs of racial bias in young children?

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Why are North Carolina Democrats against Mark Robinson? He is the modern Martin Luther King Jr. and the Democrats are being stupid for not voting him.

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.